It's weird, I just discovered this place called Germany. Everyone there shouts, n' crap.

Ed. Farrah. Michael. Billy.

This is fucked up. I'm especially brokenhearted about Mays. He was a cool guy.

I'm also pissed about that Exodus cartoon now.

moar leik matt-leiks-boobehz olololol

In all seriousness, I love the guy. For once, I'm not pissed at someone who drew a nice little manga picture. Even though I still hate manga.

I...didn't get my pancakes. I don't know how I'll go on.

If you gave me a virus, you gave it to me on my mother's computer and I thank you for it.

However, the nazi zombies chomp to no avail! I live, though I have not communicated with the general public or my newgrounds friends in over....approximately three months. I still love you all, though. You're all blessed by the furry one. Not furry as in love of anthropomorphic animals, furry as in furry. You know. You meaning the general public, because I can't actually address anyone directly through the internet. It has been a long time since I had real pancakes. I feel like eating them, but it's one-thirty-four in the morning.

OBAMA

IPHONE

SANTA IS REAL

I filled you with feelings that are entirely not my own. I think what I said last time was uncalled for, and apologize for feeding you lies.

For, you see, I jokingly stated that 'santa' was real. Now, you see, I simply used this fat hobo in red as a metaphor for my hatred of this human holiday. Why do I say that I hate this holiday, hm? Let my tell you a story.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pathetic mortal establishment, not a creature was stirring, not even a chinchilla. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, when suddenly a pathetic watersack, the one called "mom" (or "Barb" by the rather large, plump one.), walked up to my cage...and put an idiotic, corny, sissy-boy chinchilla-sized sweater right on me, waking me up from my jolly Christmas snooze. My eyes widened, as I realized the truth about these pathetic beings and their pathetic clothing.

So I took out my mini-flamethrower and burned my way out of the house. I made my way to a large, damp cave, inhabited by only a tree, and swore revenge against the humans.

THE END

I hate the holiday season. It's completely ridiculous! I mean, really. A fat man coming down your chimney, with a hobo beard and smelling of hamburgers, bringing you presents. Well, in honor of this, I built a chimney in my cave, and made a nice cozy fireplace. I even added a little decoration to my tree. So on Christmas eve, I shall go to sleep in my little corner. Warmed by the fireplace.

Take that, you red bastard.